I remember
by manycandycanes
Summary: A little angsty but kinda fluffy story lolz can't thinnk of a summary lolz hope you like it.


This was inspired by a song title lolz

Hope you like it

and review! please

I dont own anything

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><p>I remember everything. From when we started as strangers in the same neighborhood. From when I looked over the fence and saw you playing with your soccer ball, I remember it all.<p>

I remember I didn't talk to you when 8th grade started because you left me confused. Confused about my feelings for you even though I knew it wasn't right, I remember how scared I was when I approached you the next day at lunch. I remember when you told me your name, Carlos. I have never heard a name like that, so foreign, so unique. I introduced myself to you and you liked my name, James. I remember how I felt butterflies raging in my stomach as I talked to you, I remember how much I liked your smile.

I remember how close we got after that, closer than I was with any other friends. I introduced you to my best friends Logan and Kendal, they liked you. I remember how I felt a weight was lifted of my shoulders when we all became best friends, but as time went by it was replaced with fear. I accepted that I liked you immediately, but I couldn't tell you. I remember telling you every fear and secret I ever had, except one, that I liked you. I remember I hid my feelings to the world and I hid them well but you could tell something was bugging me.

I remember freshmen year, we were in my room one day doing nothing when you tackled me and pinned me to the floor. You wouldn't let me loose. You stared at me and forced me to tell you. I remember how determined you were to help me out and then I told you. I poured out my heart to you and you didn't say anything. I told you everything and I didn't get a response back. I remember tears pouring out of my face when you stood up and walked out the door. I was heartbroken, I was torn in two by you, all I remembered that night was that death was very welcoming at the moment.

I remember how you stopped me, how my life was saved by you. I had thought you left that night to get away from a disgusting abomination like me, I was wrong. You left because you were in shock of what you heard and needed time to process this information. When you had taken a good breath of fresh air you came back inside smiling. You found me on the floor, blood slowly sneaking its way from under my face. I remember how my life flashed before my eyes and I finally saw what was always there, you liked me too. I remember waking up in the hospital bed, my head bandaged and with a major headache.

You were there, your eyes transitioning from fear to pure happiness. Your face was pale and you looked like you haven't eaten in a while.

I remember you telling me you found me on the floor by the stairs and how you feared you would never see me again. You told me you haven't left my side since I was in the hospital, I was there for five days before I woke up. Right then and there he told me, well more like showed me he liked me. He kissed me and pulled away to tell me meeting me was the best thing that ever happened to him. I remember I kissed you back and how all the pain had somehow all disappeared, it was only you and me until we pulled apart and we came back to reality.

I remember how it felt to introduce you as my boyfriend to my parents. The grin on my face never left as I told everyone you were my boyfriend, that warm feeling when I got before when I met you never left. I didn't care what others thought about us until we became Big Time Rush. We had to keep up an image for a while, but every night I would hold you in my arms and tell sweet nothings to you until you fell asleep on my chest. At night, nothing mattered. I remembered when we first made love, everything seemed like a movie. I gave you everything that night and you accepted it all, every flaw, every thing that made me human. That night we gave each other a present we couldn't get back, and the first of many I Love You's that we shared was said. I remember happily saying it back.

I remember how my ass hurt the next day but the smile and memories that came with it nulled the pain. I remember you told me how anyone can have sex but it takes two people who truly love each other to make love, and that's how I knew we were going to last. After that day, no matter what happened we stayed together, I remember every smile, every laugh, everything that you did to make me love you more. I also remember that horrible day you were taken from me. We were on tour in Las Vegas, the show had just ended. We ran from the fans, these fans were crazy and tried what they could to get to us. They chased the tour van., we were lucky to escape. Little did we know our driver had been drinking that night. He drove crazy, we tried to get out. Logan and Kendal did, we didn't. The van had crashed into a building. However that wasn't what killed you. I tried my best to cover you and you were protected, so was the driver. The driver stumbled back towards us but I didn't see him. He had a gun. You pushed me out of the way, in an instant you were gone.

I remember I died on the inside. My world crashed. The depression that overtook me was immense. I isolated myself, cried non stop, stopped eating and sleeping and eventually my body gave out and I died in my sleep. I wish I had killed myself sooner to be with you but suicide wouldn't send me to heaven with you, it would send me to hell. So I waited for the pain to go away by itself. I remember you waited for me before entering the Pearly Gates of Heaven. The smile you had when you saw me and the look in your eyes told me you weren't going to leave me, ever. We entered Heaven with smiles on our faces. I remember telling you I Love You once again.

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><p>Please review!<p> 


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